cover

in this issue...

Personal Essay
Where Lies, The Meaning
By Suzanne Farrell

Short Meditations
Uncertainty
Wings in Darkness

By Carlos Figueroa

Short Story
Monster in Your Forest
By Brian Jefferson

Social Commentary
Behind Closed Doors: The Secret Consumption of Sex
By Angela Jones

Confessions
The Conversation I Will Never Have With Chuck Klosterman
By Ellen Killoran

Ethnography
Selections From the (not so) Secret Life of Blogs
By Robin Lester

Selected Poems
Truth be Told
The Plaintiff

By Israel Loeb

Poetry
the madman and the night
By Shaun Nanavati

Selected Poems
Sky Spot
Asbury Park Summer Day
I Hate to Eat Fish

By Steve Newman

Politics & Religion
Defining Secularism
By Serdar Paktin

Selected Poems
Ode to Atheism
Images of Philosophy, Pt. One

By K. Jody Rucks

Prose Poem
War Porn 3: i like america and america likes me
By Roy Scranton

Memoir
The Russian Army
By Justin Wolf

 


Selected Poems

By Steve Newman

 

Sky Spot

sky spot
death of a star
so long ago
racing through space
for so long
noticed/not noticed
and gone -
if a cataclysm passes
unmarked
what of me
stranded on shore
by receding tide
dragging through formless sands
then gone.
if me be so brief
why do I dig
my nails in so deep

 

Asbury Park Summer Day

the pizza place was hotter than the street
an anteroom to hell
a thin blond with teased hair
and vertigo smile
for all whose eyes brushed hers
paced and waited for the bathroom.
“she’s waiting to do her crack,
another fuckin’ crack ho’.”
I looked at her
her grin so wide
her eyes so sadly deep
with nothing but pleading
and deadly anticipation.
and I remembered.
I knew her mother.
 
she was a go-go dancer
in a rundown, dirty bar.
on route 9 south
where the music went one way         
and her body another
her movements were of
a dancer’s dream gone cold
inside her head
she danced with gods
her eyes dead, so dead
 
and I knew her grandmother
I saw her on the train once
in the middle of the night.
her face scourged by the
relentless river of life.
her lips, so close to my face
speaking in a tongue
heavy with years lost and alcohol tainted
so that all I understood
was her trying to reach to me
and all I could feel
was my own fear.

 

I Hate to Eat Fish

I hate to eat fish
more than any other dish
it is of fins that I wish
to never ever
be served
garnished with
fanciful relish
or any other
nouveau riche
idea of food as art.
I hate to pick out bones
from between my teeth
or the back of my throat
or watch some forlorn
sad eyed bass or trout
or cousin of Charlie the tuna
remind me
with eyes cold of tears
of the great sacrifice to my
pleasure and health that they made
and I am supposed
to savor
and cherish
and appreciate
as for fish sticks
or cakes
or croquets or croquettes
whatever that is
they are the hot dogs of the ocean
and I have a notion
filled and flourished the same.
Growing up, I threw out and up and hid
more than I swallowed
but that is for another day.
All I know
that while I crave red meat tinged black
and liver chopped and floating in onions
fried deep
and butter injected potatoes
it is of greens lusted by giraffes
and fish filleted for bear
presented as a master work
a painting for my eyes
that will grace my plate
though tempt yet not please
my palate.

 

***

Steve Newman is in his third semester of the Psychology grad program at the NSSR. Father of two; grandfather of two; he holds that it is the journey that counts - the destination is the same for all. A wounded healer – “if you haven't been in the mud, how do you know how to get it off?” Believes that most things in life are transitory illusions and the only thing that has real value is love. You find it - work like hell to grow it and keep it!